RumBum.com

Ah, Luis Bacardi, as in the rum, had the launch of RumBum Nights last night at Gryphon at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood. I used to work for Bacardi at the magazine he owns: Worldwide Angler. He's a good guy.

It was a good time with the exception of the normal BS at clubs in South Florida.

South Beach Wine & Food Fest

I am headed down to South Beach today for the Grand Tasting at the Festival. It is, more or less, the centerpiece day. My friend Jen Karetnick, a well-known food writer, gave me her passes.

I've lived either on the Beach (South Beach) or in Miami for just over six years and I have never been to this event.

I'm covering it for a couple of websites and magazines and to a certain extent I am the eyes and ears for Jen since she can't go.

I will see Bobby Flay, Paula Deen, Giada, Emeril, Anthony Bourdain....and I am sure that I will heckle Tyler Florence and Rachel Ray.

And, lest we not forget the free booze.

I am, in the words of Early Cuyler: "Excited-er than hell."

I think I'll go out in the yard and yell for spell.

Here is a heads up: I say this because I have heard it butchered so many times and because I had no idea myself until I got here.

"South Beach" is the area from South Pointe Park to 23rd Street in the City of Miami Beach, which stretches from South Pointe to 88th Street; bordered by the Atlantic Ocean on the east and Biscayne Bay on the west. This is a separate municipality from the City of Miami.

Poker in Florida

Sometime last summer (July, I think) the betting limits for poker games at Indian reservation casinos and parimutuel facilities was raised.

Originally, the entire pot on any hand could not be more than $10 (in 2003), then the limits were raised to $2 with three rounds of betting (in Agust 2003). That meant that the "cap" on betting would be $8. And recently, the limit was raised to $5 with three rounds of betting.

In real terms, this means that a minimum $20 buy-in went to $25 and the Hold'em games offered went from $1-$2 and $2 Straight to $2-$4 and $3-$5 as well as the smaller limit ones. It also meant that there could be "no limit" cash games with a maximum buy-in in the higher limit games being $100.

(This also means that you can never "buy" more than $100 in chips. IE You can't buy $100, then lose $20, and then buy another $100.)

I went to test this out the other day at Hollywood Greyhound Track. (Now called Mardi Gras Racetrack and Gaming Center or something like that.) I played $2-$4 fixed limit and with a $25 buy-in. I was up over two hundred dollars in about an hour, maybe less. In the old days, that would have taken a couple of hours.

Then, I gave it all back because my STAGE FIVE CLINGER girlfriend kept calling and texting me to see where I was because I "didn't leave a note" or "tell" her. Poker, just like craps, is about momentum. Once it gets upset, then it's best to get out.

Ugh.

But I'll be back.

There was always a lot of loose money at Florda poker tables. Now, you can just get it faster.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Yes. It's Super Bowl XLII week. Most sharp sports bettors are reading and studying lines, prop bets, stats and injury reports, among other things. Squares are studying the lines and whether Tom Brady's ankle is going to hold up. Fans are picking which team to root for if it is not "their" team going to Arizona.

I hate fans. If you're not gambling on it, then it doesn't exist. I guess that would suggest my loyalties: none.

But all of these people lament the end of the football season....the most exciting time for sports bettors. For sharps and regular guys, baseball and basketball seasons are long and arduous.

And now, we are at the end of the line.

Alas.

If you're a writer, don't have pets.

Have a home brew kit.

I've been on the phone with the City of Miami all day and in pursuit of some needed documents for a story. Political red tape, thy name is Miami. This has been going on since last Wednesday. They were promised to me today, which is just before my deadline. I have been trying to think and write.

Of course, my dog kept annoying me to take him out.

In his defense, he used to live in a big house wth a yard and could go and come as he pleased, more or less. That was before he was MY dog. Now he lives in a two bedroom apartment. He still scratches on the door either when he needs to use the bathroom or smells/hears something funny outside. Or, he paws my leg, or he whines, or he goes into the corner and pouts with a sigh.

It dooesn't end there. One of the two cats sleeps right beside my computer -- to the point of having erased one whole page of writing one day. When she gets bored of the hum of the laptop, she perches on my notes and preens herself...while I am doing a phone interview.

But there is one saving grace animal: the male cat. He doesn't do anything other than meow when he wants out, wants in or wants food. Half the time he is outside sowing his wild oats. The other half of the time he is asleep in the apartment somewhere.

Today it really IS about TheSPREAD

The spread on the Patriots game is -14 and the Packers are -8. I think they both will win but not cover. Certainly, this depends on momentum, as every game does, IE "On any given Sunday..." It seems, however, that the Pats might be forward looking so they might "just win." Packers, however, have the benefit of the weather in which they live...against a California team. Someone on ESPN said it exactly right. He said that people from the Northeast work and then retire to Florida and after about a year, they put on a parka when it hits 65 degrees. So true (see an earlier post).

Yet, the NY Giants might have a chance because it might be cold in Foxboro, but The Meadowlands isn't exactly South Beach.

I root for no team because I am a gambler. But, I'll take the points on both games.

The China Situation

In the City of Miami Beach there has, apparently, been a cultural exchange with China over the past few years. I have not lived on "The Beach" since 2005 and have not covered politics here as a journalist since then either.

Now, I am back.

Today I was watching the city commission meeting on the local access cable channel and the subject of the cultural exchange became an issue for discussion among the commissioners. Commissioner Jonah Wolfson was adamantly opposed to it because of China's record on human rights violations. While on the other side, Commissioner Jerry Libbin was promoting it.

Commerce for the Beach is normally paramount for the city government as well as the various hotel and restaurant associations. Yet, Wolfson was so adamant that "as an American" the Beach should not have any business dealings with China that I was impressed. As Tom Sizemore says in TRUE ROMANCE, "I like this kid, Clarence, he's crazy!"

I was texting back and forth with a reporter for a local newspaper because I know the scene well....spend a year on that beat and you just know everybody. We were laughing at the "decorum" that is a normal part of meetings like these. It doesn't matter where it is. Everyone, it has been my observation, knows the outcome of a situation except the citizenry. There are a few times that things don't turn out as all variables to the equation would suggest, but rarely.

If you could gamble on outcomes to city meetings then you, if you knew anything, would be a rich man.

Wet Foot-Dry Foot Policy in South Florida

It was around 9:30 this morning that I was channel surfing and nursing a hangover with some hair of the dog when I saw a story from a local channel about 24 (I think) Cubans whose boat "sank" and they landed in Haulover Beach. Because of the wet foot-dry foot policy, they "will probably be allowed to stay."

I'm all for freedom from oppression, but it's Miami. We hit our limit in the 1980s. "Give me your tired, your poor, your hungry..."

Nonsense.

This would sound like a "Minute Man" rant except I am Mexican-American, born and raised in the US....in Arkansas no less. And, when I lived in Costa Rica and Guatemala, I spoke the language and followed the customs.

Granted, I worked illegally in Costa Rica as a hotel night auditor in Manuel Antonio and a bookmaking clerk in San Jose and a tour operator in Jaco Beach....I think when I taught English as a second language to business executives in San Jose that was legal because I am a native speaker....but who knows?

Likewise, Haulover Beach is around 80 blocks from my apartment and it seems that this is where the new "landings" are occurring. There must be some loophole in the perimeter.

But, you have to hand it to the 24 Cubans who got "dry foot" because if you're not cheating, then you're not trying.

I keep drinking and these bad things keep happening

and each one is worse than the last. I'm just kidding. Nothing bad has happened. Well, unless, you count me falling into a bonfire at a bar in Guatemala.

Dogs and Cats Living Together! Mass Hysteria!

I saw Chuck Norris doing a C-SPAN pitch for Mike Huckabee(Rep.-AR).

The apocalypse is upon us. Stockpile all necessities: bandages, canned foods, certain libations and whatever else you're into. Play The Doors and paint your face.

At least, I just finished brewing a batch of beer. I added blueberries and brown sugar to up the alcohol content. It's carbonating now.

Wind Chill Advisory in Miami

Oh, how sad...But, it was on The Weather Channel...people are advised to wear hats and gloves if they go outdoors tonight. Ridiculous.

This morning was about the same temperature that occurs every morning and evening in the highlands of Guatemala.

But, Miami, being the town that it is....will undoubtedly freak out because the wind will make it feel about 30 degrees or so.

Panajachel, Guatemala

I just read someone's blog which said that Panajachel (called Pana by locals) was beautiful.

Wrong.

Pana is busy, urban and annoying. There aren't even many vistas like in San Pedro or San Marco. Pana is the biggest town on the Lake and most people (tourists as well as locals) pass through there either to buy things at an actual supermarket, get prescription drugs or take a launch to a neighboring town.